


Atlas

by anneweaver



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Introspection, Other, in which i'm having the worst jemma feelings because man her burdens. her burdens., this isn't even shippy in the slightest omg?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 22:15:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1202503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anneweaver/pseuds/anneweaver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When she’s laying in bed, Skye’s blood long gone from her hands, she thinks of Atlas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Atlas

When she’s laying in bed, Skye’s blood long gone from her hands, she thinks of Atlas.

She’s not a mythology expert by any means, seeing as she always found it foolish, but she read about Atlas when she was in high school, how he was a titan being forced to hold the weight of the world on his shoulders. Back then, she had scoffed and thought “there is no way something could ever support that much weight, _please_ ” to which her teacher had answered “some people, Jemma, carry much heavier burdens. They’re just not physical.” 

Now, she thinks of herself, a mere human doing the same thing Atlas had done. 

She doesn’t think of it as a punishment, at least not in her case; she’s on the right side of the tracks and there’s nothing she could possibly have done to deserve it. She’s aware that, most of the time, she’s the one placing all that weight on her shoulders. How can’t she? How can’t she, when these five people relying on her have given her their respect and admiration? How can’t she, when these people care about her and have offered her a home? How can’t she try to be the best she can be, for them? 

She’ll gladly bear the weight of the entire universe on her hands if it will keep these five people, her team, her family, safe. She won’t hesitate to let the ocean pull her and drag her down if her team remains dry and standing on the ground. She will jump in front of bullets and arrows and grenades to keep her team out of harm’s way, and that’s a part of her character as much as her intelligence is; she’s done some reckless things, she _is_ aware of that -- because Fitz won’t stop reminding her, mostly --, but it’s always to make sure nothing happens to her family.

Sometimes, though. Sometimes, keeping them safe means stepping out of her comfort zone, it means doing things she doesn’t know how to do. Sometimes, it means doing insane things, it means turning impossible situations in her favor and making them work. And during these times she doesn’t know what feels heavier, her heart beating faster and faster or her conscience telling her it’s her _job_ and her _duty_ to be the hero. 

But Atlas wasn’t a hero. Atlas didn’t ask for such a heavy burden. And the more she thinks about it, the more she realizes she didn’t ask for it, either. The key difference, she thinks -- or hopes, more like it --, is that her burden isn’t a punishment, like Atlas’ is; it’s more of a prize, something she’s gained by being worthy. 

And that becomes the heaviest burden of all: Atlas was damned and so, he could be unhappy by his situation, but the weight of the world on her shoulders is a blessing for her. She wants to be grateful, she wants to wear that load like she wears her S.H.I.E.L.D badge: like it’s the proof that she’s worthy, that she’s brave, that she is a force to be reckoned with if you threaten her people. She’s willing to sacrifice herself in ways she’s never thought about before, she’s willing to jump out of airplanes and in front of grenades and test her skills in ways she never has before, and she likes to think she’s content with that. 

But there are nights where it all becomes too much. Some nights she reflects on what her life is right now, and she knows her duty is to fix the things that can’t be fixed, to do the things that can’t be done, and that’s what she’s expected to do now, that’s what Coulson asks her to do, that’s what Ward asks her to do, that’s what even Fitz asks her to do. And it’s her fault, she’s the one who thought such burden couldn’t be that heavy, carrying such weight couldn’t be that difficult. Now, she’s stuck with the celestial spheres placed upon her shoulder; now, Skye is dying because she can’t fix what can’t be fixed and she can’t do what can’t be done, and she’s been holding up for so long but now she’s utterly lost and, for the first time, even when she knows mythology is foolish and, objectively speaking, no one is capable of carrying the celestial spheres, she _is_ Atlas.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been meaning to write this for ages (by "ages" I mean "since T.R.A.C.K.S aired") but I hadn't found any time or inspiration and then F+TM hit me in the face with the goddamn "Oh, poor Atlas, the world's a beast of a burden" line and I'm here. Hey.


End file.
